The Queen of Quite A Lot

There’s a new queen in town. At the dentist’s office, when I recently had a crown put in place, I asked if I could now be queen (since I selected gold as my metal of choice – due to reports linking other metals' toxicity to the autism spectrum).

On Monday October 12, my six-year-old had a dental procedure during which she was scheduled to receive four crowns and four fillings. While she was under sedation, I was told that the dentist noticed two abscesses requiring two teeth to be extracted from her bottom gum. During the extraction, while fitting a mold to place spacer units to hold those places open for the teeth to eventually push through (I was told that those teeth normally would not have come out until she’s 11 or 12), the dentist additionally extracted two of her bottom front teeth by accident while removing the molding to make the cast to send to the lab to make my daughter’s spacer units. (Those accidentally extracted teeth are the two teeth on either side of her middle bottom front teeth, which had recently just come out naturally.)

So my daughter now only has two real teeth on her bottom gum, the third back on either side. She also has two crowns as the last teeth in the back on her bottom gum, as well as two crowns and two fillings on her top gum, which thankfully has all her teeth.

I have to say, I am exceedingly grateful to God for getting my daughter through that procedure, since I had been told a story by a dear Christian friend a few years ago about a child who died accidentally at the hands of a dental hygienist. Another trusted Christian friend I have will not allow her children to be sedated for dental care, so this was all the more difficult for me to do, but I believed it necessary to do for my daughter’s health.

Monday was additionally difficult since post-procedure my daughter required constant supervision – coming in and out of sedation the rest of the day. She was not allowed to lie on her back due to pooling of saliva and blood, so I stayed with her in her room to watch her try to sleep somewhat restlessly until early evening, when she awakened thankfully hungry and was able to ingest some chicken broth and scrambled eggs.

The next day, she felt pretty well, all things considered, although somewhat down in the mouth, if you can excuse the pun. The absence of so many teeth and the awkwardness of having crowns in place now is affecting her ability to eat and also her mood. She’s not grumpy per se, but a bit down and glum. She kind of drags herself around the house, but thankfully her grandparents are here (the procedure required the presence of a second adult – one to drive and one to monitor the child closely all the way home, which I did in the back seat as my mother drove us home). They’re providing a measure of comfort with toys and giggles and even a trip to a local restaurant, where we had hoped to get her to eat mashed potatoes and gravy, but she ordered a hamburger and french fries and just stared at them throughout the meal, passing them up in favor of some soft crackers to gum down.

The crackers aren’t gluten-free, but I’m tossing her special diet to the wind these days in order to allow her anything to eat that she can actually get through those tender gums. So far, it hasn’t seemed to affect her adversely. I hope to eventually get her back on her gluten-free, soy-free, casein-free, yeast-free and relatively sugar-free diet, but for now, anything she can comfortably pass through those lips is fine with me. I just want her to enjoy eating again. She’s been through so much in such a short period of time.

So now, my daughter has four crowns, two fillings, and four extractions (two inadvertent). With four crowns trumping my two, she is now the new queen in town, although if you ask her, she’ll reply, “I’m not a queen. I’m just a child.”

Works for me.

Prayer request: She’s going to need “spacers” (tiny metal wire squares) placed in about three weeks. She’s scheduled for placement of them on November 11, one day after her auditory processing test at a local university. My daughter doesn’t like the dental staff where this work was done, not really related to the procedure that she doesn’t remember. I understand her concerns, since this dentist and her staff aren’t particularly warm or patient-friendly.

If you would keep in prayer for us to find a new pediatric dentist, I’d be exceedingly grateful. I think that because this particular dentist is covered through the state's children's medical plan, the care was not as prompt (we had to wait months to get Grace in first for a consultation and then another month until this procedure) as it could have been - nor as careful (as in handing me her two accidentally removed front teeth after the fact as a "by the way...").

If you would perhaps also keep her diet in prayer, I'd appreciate it. She can't eat much now with only two real teeth remaining on her bottom gum. The front four are now missing. The next two back are present, then a gap on each side where the extractions occurred, and the last teeth back on each side (one each side) are crowns/caps, so she doesn't have much to work with on the bottom gum.

Thankfully, I will say that God is providing success in the bowel movement department. I finally found a satisfactory dosage of magnesium citrate that she will drink in juice that provides results, so that's a really good thing, but I'll spare you
those details. ;-)

There are well and truly many blessings on this path, and every time I find myself weary and teary in my heart, mind or eyes about all of this, I am immediately compelled to think of Jesus and praise His goodness when those feelings come. I know He's with us, and I know He's good and loving and suffered far greater than I or Grace ever will. So I remember to thank God and praise Him no matter what.

Thank God we have our children who He has given us to treasure and love. Our children who we can point to Him. Our children with whom we can praise God for His many continued gifts and blessings. And that's something we can really sink our teeth into.

Ushpizin

From my youth I remember a poster of a lone goat standing atop a rocky mountain peak with the headline, “I’m so far behind I think I’m ahead.”

A-yup. Lone goat bleating here on the homefront, where I haven’t been in a week, and I’m so far behind I hope I’m actually ahead.

The title of my post has nothing to do with all of that, but chock it up lone goat thinking. Actually, there may be a long shot of
a connection.

A few weeks ago I had hoped to post something related to the Jewish festival of Sukkot at the appropriate time, but, apparently I’m about a week late. Sukkot, the festival of booths, started last Saturday, October 3, and ends today. Okay, so at least I made it in time for the last day.

The word ”sukkot” is the plural of the Hebrew word “sukkah,” meaning booth or hut. The sukkah is reminiscent of the type of fragile dwellings in which the ancient Israelites dwelt during their 40 years of wandering in the desert after the exodus from Egypt. Throughout the holiday, the sukkah becomes the living area of the house, and all meals are eaten in it.

“Ushpizin” is an Aramaic word that means “guests.” During the holiday, some Jews recite a prayer to welcome seven “exalted guests” into the sukkah. These guests represent the seven shepherds of Israel: Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Moses, Aaron, Joseph, and David. According to tradition, each night a different guest enters the sukkah followed by the other six. Each of the ushpizin has a unique lesson that teaches the parallels of the spiritual focus of the day on which they visit.

The clip presented at the top of this post is from an Israeli movie of the same name (Ushpizin), in which there is some wonderful music (interestingly with a contemporary sound and yet sung by an orthodox Jewish Israeli singer). The movie’s premise involves an orthodox Jewish couple struggling financially. They cannot afford their rent, let alone a sukkah, and the wife has told the husband (who is in yeshiva – a Jewish seminary – to become a rabbi) to go pray for a miracle.

Interestingly, they receive miracles – in spades. It all starts with an anonymously given gift of $1,000 under their door and continues with some very interesting guests for their sukkah: two miscreant undesirable escapees from jail who used to know the young rabbi-to-be before he had a change of heart about God.

The entire movie centers on the religious couple’s struggles to be a light unto people who truly need God and how difficult the living of that out can actually be - including the loss of some of that money, their shame with such guests in a religious neighborhood, and the challenging of their marriage when the truth comes out. It ends, however, with one of the greatest miracles of all, which I shall not name here in order to encourage you to see it
for yourself.

As the deer pants...

A friend of mine recently sent me a sermon on CD delivered by the pastor of our former church. In his sermon, the pastor suggested that a study of the attributes of God would help individuals to think less on their own situations and problems and understand better the proper fear and love of God.

Thinking that wise counsel,
I decided to recommence reading AW Tozer, who has a couple of worthy books, one of which is titled appropriately enough The Attributes of God.

In searching out my copy of The Attributes of God, Part Two,
laid my hands on a gift from other friends at our current church, AW Tozer’s The Pursuit of God. I started reading that book instead and therein discovered these gems:

“The truth of Wesley’s words is established before our eyes: ‘Orthodoxy, or right opinion, is, at best, a very slender part of religion. … There may be a right opinion without …love … toward Him. Satan is a proof of this.’

“Thanks to our splendid Bible societies and to other effective agencies for dissemination of the Word, there are today many millions of people who hold ‘right opinions,’ probably more than ever before in the history of the Church. Yet I wonder if there was ever a time when true spiritual worship was at a lower ebb. To great sections of the Church the art of worship has been lost entirely, and in its place has come that strange and foreign thing called the ‘program.’ …

“For it is not mere words that nourish the soul, but God Himself,…

“The doctrine of ‘justification by faith’ … has in our time fallen … and been interpreted by many in such a manner as actually to bar men from the knowledge of God. … Christ may be ‘received’ without creating any special love for Him in the soul of the receiver. The man is ‘saved,’ but he is not hungry nor thirsty
after God. …

“We Christians are in real danger of losing God amid the wonders of His Word. We have almost forgotten that God is a person and, as such, can be cultivated as any person can. It is inherent in personality to be able to know other personalities, but full knowledge of one personality by another cannot be achieved in one encounter. It is only after long and loving mental intercourse that the full possibilities of both can be explored. …

“God is a person, and in the deep of His mighty nature He thinks, wills, enjoys, feels, loves, desires and suffers as any other person may. … He communicates with us through the avenues of our minds, our wills and our emotions.

“Everything is made to center upon the initial act of ‘accepting’ Christ (a term, incidentally, which is not found in the Bible). …

“Complacency is a deadly foe of all spiritual growth. … He waits to be wanted. …

“Every age has its own characteristics. Right now we are in an age of religious complexity. The simplicity which is in Christ is rarely found among us. In its stead are programs, methods, organizations, and a world of nervous activities which occupy time and attention but can never satisfy the longing of the heart. …

“…proceed in the way of simplicity. …We must strip down to essentials (and they will be found to be blessedly few). We must put away all effort to impress, and come with the guileless candor of childhood.

“there is little that we need other than God Himself. The evil habit of seeking God-and effective prevents us from finding God in full revelation. In the and lies our great woe. …

“…practice a further stripping down of everything, even of our theology. …

“When the Lord divided Canaan among the tribes of Israel, Levi received no share of the land. God said to him simply, ‘I am thy part and thine inheritance,’ and by those words made him richer than all his brethren… And there is a spiritual principle here, a principle still valid for every priest of the Most High God.

“The man who has God for his treasure has all things in One.”

I hope these words bless you as they did me.

Update

I enjoyed a good sermon in church this morning, some of which included words from Job, reminding us all that no matter where we are in our trials, God’s answer to Job started thusly, “Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth? Tell me, if you have understanding.” (38:4)

Since I hadn’t been to church in a few weeks, I need to hear this message today. It was a good reminder to me that it’s time my pity party came to an end and that I start to look up and be thankful for my trials, in which are many opportunities to live as the person by whose Name I claim my true identity. I hadn’t been to church in part due to increased activity at home (daughter’s therapies and increased doctors’ visits) and in part due to my own unbelief.

Likewise, I thought that if I heard one word from the pulpit relating to “Christian, you need to be more…. this or that,” that I’d just melt. My nerves and feelings have been so close to the surface lately, but I knew that in part that was due to my own lack of faith and not staying in the Word. So it was good to be back in the courts of the Lord.

There’s a lot going on these days on the home front, and I’ll try to provide as brief an update as possible (for me, that is).

By God’s grace, my daughter and I returned safely from a trip to Tampa last week to receive the counsel of a DAN doctor (DAN stands for Defeat Autism Now, an organization of specialists who study and treat people with diagnoses of autism and related disorders). Since I’ve been on this journey with 6-year-old Grace, who received diagnoses of Asperger’s Syndrome (on the autism spectrum) and Anxiety Disorder on April 30, she has undergone two major tests: an Organic Acid Test of her urine, which indicated a yeast overgrowth in her digestive tract (not uncommon in autistic children) and a hair test, which indicated the presence of heavy metals in her system (again, not uncommon in autism), not least of which uranium, aluminum, arsenic and tin. So far, we have avoided more invasive tests in order to keep the pain and fear at a minimum. Our next visit, however, scheduled for October 8, will likely include a blood draw.

Since mid-July, Grace has been on an anti-fungal and a priobiotic for her yeast overgrowth without indication of change (other than ongoing constipation or diarrhea – always one or the other), so this was one of the areas I sought to address with the DAN doctor. The first item of concern for me, however, was her nutrition, as she has been on a severely restricted diet (gluten-free, casein-free, soy-free, yeast-free, and sugar-free) since July. The only things she’s eaten in the past few weeks have been organic hamburger meat with organic catsup (no bun), rice pasta with organic sauce, and distilled water. That’s really about it.

Since her self-help skills are delayed (in toilet skills and feeding of self), I feed her to try to get as much in her as possible, but it’s still not as much as should be. In the Lord’s mercy, she’s getting enough to grow in height, but not weight.

Since she was pulled off of over-the-counter multi-vitamins (due to additives and dyes), she has received no added nutritional supplements, other than a chewable calcium I found at a local health food store. The other supplements I tried were denied by the local integrative clinic where I have been taking her until locating the DAN doctor we are now seeing. Although this was a priority for me, my discussion with the DAN doctor focused on the current yeast overgrowth and the heavy metal toxicity (as well as the possible presence of parasites) so we can get an accurate gauge of these things in her system (without interference of vitamins or minerals that might influence test results) and clean up what needs to be cleaned up before supplementation.

Additionally, she’s been lamenting pain in her teeth. A visit to our dentist a few months ago indicated that she has at least four cavities, but we were unable to get her in to a specialized pediatric dentist until September 15, so thank God that’s approaching soon. It is an initial visit and not treatment, but that dentist should be able to provide the treatment Grace requires (soon, Lord willing), as this dentist treats special needs children. If any work (fillings, sealants, etc) proves necessary, she will probably have to sedate Grace due to our girl’s anxiety, so your prayers in that regard are appreciated.

Our new DAN doctor is not an advocate of hair tests for heavy metals, since he says they can be unreliable. He explained how the hair is an excretory part of the body and that excreting metals from the hair may be an actual indication of the body’s ability to release the metals, not necessarily an indication of accurate levels of those metals retained by the body. Likewise, he noted that the absence of metals from the hair may indicate that the body is not excreting them properly. He also pointed out that anything added to the hair (in shampoo or water) may be what’s reflected in the testing, and he therefore wanted to run another test on Grace to see about her possible toxic metal overload.

He suggested that we run a calcium disodium EDTA in suppository form to chelate metals in her system – first by running a pre-test (urinary test) prior to the chelation. That test will show levels of metals in the body, and then after the suppository, we’ll collect urine samples for about a week, and the absence or presence of metals at that time will reveal what has been chelated or not and what may need to be addressed in the future regarding metals in her body. He indicated that this is a relatively safe approach (other chelation approaches may deplete minerals like calcium) and will help to rid her body of metals if present. We’ll do that chelation after the following course of action.

First, I’m bathing Grace daily in a hot Epsom salt bath for at least 15 minutes for as hot of water as she can stand, covering most of her body for as long as possible. This will help her sleep better and calm her, as well as do something (I forget exactly what he said) regarding the next test we’ll do, which will be a re-test of her yeast levels to see where she is. We’ll retest her urine and also test her bowel movements (taking four samples out of three movements, dividing the last movement into two vials) to test for parasites (something not unheard of with yeast infections and something about which I have read in other books discussing autistic kids and their issues). I'll take these samples this week, following one week of epsom salt baths. (Your prayers in this regard are also cherished since, as mentioned earlier, Grace’s bowels are either constipated or she suffers from diarrhea, so testing of stool here at home will be … interesting.)

My impressions of this DAN doctor are very favorable. The doctor indicated that he’s available 24/7 and to call or email anytime with questions regarding Grace’s care or any concerns. He only allows for six patients a day to be seen in order to allow for maximum time with each patient. He never pressed us to hurry up, and he also spent most of the time asking his own questions and fielding mine, all related to her nutrition and behavior. We didn’t have time to discuss Grace’s allergies.

I was very pleasantly surprised when he said to me halfway through the meeting that of primary importance is that I listen to my instincts with respect to Grace. He firmly told me that although he is up on all of the autism-related protocols, he does not know Grace as well as I do. He said if I think strongly that any course of action should be taken, to listen to my gut and follow my instincts, but to bring him along in the process and keep him up to date, since we are on the same team for Grace’s health. He likewise added that if anything he said regarding Grace’s care seemed not right to me, to indicate that to him and to follow my instincts instead. (How many physicians say that?) He pointed out that this is a marathon, not a sprint, and that we’re going to take one step at a time – moving somewhat slowly – so we can accurately gauge progress when it occurs and know to what to attribute it.

Also, I was extremely impressed with the management of his office. It is run paperless, and all of my communications to him about Grace must be either by fax or email. They receive no hard copy mail. As I met with the doctor, he had all of the information I had previously faxed to him (two 35-plus page faxes) on his computer system. As we met, he had a headphone on and occasionally would pause to dictate either what we had discussed or his recommended course of action and it was being typed onto his computer via his voice. It didn’t take time out from the meeting other than a minute or two each time he dictated. The doctor's notes on our meeting were emailed to me within 24 hours.

When I left his office and went up to the front desk, where all kinds of medications were available, the receptionist already had the notes from my meeting with the doctor on her computer, and she was able to give us everything we needed, such as the four kits for the two tests (for yeast and metals), each test requires two samples (the chelation for metals requires a pre-sample and post-sample, the latter collected over one week; and the yeast test will be taken both by urine and stool).

In addition to the four urine and stool sample kits, I left the office with a digestive enzyme in capsule form (that I can open and put in her food or drink) for Grace that we will commence as soon as the samples are all taken and sent over the next two-week period. She will also then receive Omega-3 fish oil in capsule form (to be added to food or drink), but they didn't have that in their office so they'll be mailing it to me without shipping cost, since normally they have it on hand.

The doctor did not want to start her on any multi-vitamins yet since the vitamins he would prescribe are derived from fruits and vegetables, some of which can interfere with her test results in the urine, so we’ll start those multi-vitamins in about a month.

All in all, a good experience and Grace also liked the doctor, thanks in large part perhaps to the social story we read prior to the appointment and her association of his name with a hamburger. (His name is Dr. Berger.) Grace continually teased him about that, and he played along. A social story is a story prepared in advance for kids who suffer from anxiety related to change in routine (many autistic children suffer from this), and so the story prepares them for what to expect. In this case, Grace participated by drawing the front and back covers (the photo for this post) for the story about our trip; The first image is her fishing with me and her grandma and the second is her presenting an I love you card to her grandparents upon arrival (if you made it this far in the post, that is).

Thanks for your prayers, and I’ll keep updating as the Lord grants.

The approaching storm

Today, my daughter and I gazed across a wide expanse of sky to appreciate some billowy white clouds and bright blue sky on our left while to our right looming dark clouds with thunder gradually set in. Knowing it was time to get the mail, we decided to hightail it down the long dirt drive and fast, buckaroo, if we were to beat those clouds back to our doorstep.

We had fun riding our golf cart at break-neck speed all the while keeping our eyes fixed upon the sky for the occasional lightning strike as those clouds rolled ever closer like waves upon a shore. The stark contrast between light and dark, the deep booms of thunder, the clouds lighting up, the flash of the lightning - all of it was strikingly beautiful.

Once safely back within distance to reach the house before the first drops hit, I paused to consider the wonder of what was coming.

The magnificence of the thunder’s roar and awesome power contained in the sudden unpredictable lightning flashes can strike fear and awe in the strongest of us. I marveled at the liquidity of the clouds; many were roils of dark beauty while others reached down to touch the horizon like thin dark fingers moving so quickly that we could feel the cold air blowing on our faces from so very far and yet so near.

The beauty of a storm hides the torrent that approaches, but there is beauty nonetheless. I had forgotten that.

Watching this particular storm approach reminded me that although my life has seemingly long periods of difficulty and trial, God is working so much beauty right within it.

Sometimes, I catch a glimpse of what His hand is doing. Many times, I don’t see it, but like the cool breeze on our cheeks and the growing winds as the storm approaches, there are continual reminders of God's presence in our lives.

I can have confidence in the approaching storm, assured that although there will be torrent, there is great beauty still.

It occurred to me that the stormless summer heat without rain is often more oppressive than the cool wind of the approaching storm.

It’s all a matter of perspective.

Kakuro in person

I’m a Sudoku fan. If you’re unfamiliar, that’s the Japanese puzzle that employs the numbers 1-9 in a single row and square without repetition.

Kakuro is my latest diversion – something of an extension of Sudoku, only with an added dimension.
I find it particularly good at the end of a long day; It’s a way
to keep my brain interested without having to take in any
new information.

Well, as of late, with hair test results for my daughter now in, added to her recent organic acid test (urinalysis) results, she reminds me something of a 3-D walking Kakuro puzzle. I see all of these varied yet connected elements coming together – biological tests; dietary interventions; behavioral analysis; IQ/achievement tests; auditory processing tests; specialized pediatric dentists; occupational, speech, and social skills therapies, including home activities like the Wilbarger Deep Pressure and Proprioceptive Technique; adding more visual learning to our homeschooling and self-care/self-help routines; having our well water tested for various chemicals, pesticides, and metals; books upon books upon books addressing all of these things – and it’s my job to try and discern where these things connect uniquely in her and apply them in ways she can receive and learn and communicate effectively and grow and thrive.

Her hair test reveals that she’s way high in aluminum, arsenic, tin and uranium, while deficient in calcium, magnesium, copper, zinc, and phosphorus. Her urinalysis reveals that she has a bad yeast overgrowth in her digestive tract; is vitamin C deficient; has high oxalic acid, 3-oxoglutaric compound and arabinose; and that her neurotransmitter VMA reference interval is high - all of which are not uncommon in autism spectrum kids, by the way.

For the past two months she's been on a modified elimination diet, which we've restricted further to be gluten-free, casein-free, soy-free, and most recently (in the past month) yeast-free, and sugar-free – while adding an anti-fungal, a probiotic, and a calcium supplement, as well as whatever else I can identify to supplement her vitamin deficiencies that she may be allowed (most things on the market have ingredients she can’t have). What does that leave that she not only can eat but will eat? Not much. Not much.

Quite frankly, it’s overwhelming. I’m still in the throes of contacting new doctors and therapists, along with various government offices for different tests and services, while being away from home three days a week driving an hour one way to take my daughter to various therapy sessions. She’s been a trooper through it all, and there have been some noticeable behavior changes, although I can’t be certain exactly what triggers we’ve eliminated in her diet have been effective for which behavior changes. I’ve decided to try and get on a waiting list to see a DAN doctor to help me make sense of it all.

For now, as you’ve no doubt already noticed (if there’s anyone still out there – hello? hello? taps screen of computer… hello?), this blog is waning. I don’t know if it will survive, but for now, I’m letting it hang on, because I just don’t have the heart to pull it down. I don’t want some of the old posts that I like to disappear.

I apologize, however, for the deafening silence and the absence of my presence from the blog. I just don’t have time or energy to devote to it at the moment. Grace’s needs are too great and my own brain cells and emotional capacity limited.

I would ask, however, that you pray – for Grace, for me, and our family during this time.

God bless you and yours.

July 25 update: Just got word that the DAN doctor upon whose waiting list I was seeking to get Grace's name was just diagnosed with breast cancer. Please keep Dr. Julie Buckley in prayer and also please pray that God would direct my path to another doctor who can help me decipher the puzzle that is my daughter's body chemistry to prescribe the necessary supplements that Grace should receive and, Lord willing, will take. I purchased different items yesterday (such as a combined immune defense fizzy drink with the vitamins C, A, and D; zinc; and elderberry extract she needs, as well as a malic acid and magnesium supplement to combat aluminum), but she doesn't like the taste of any of these things, so I either need to reduce the amounts in whatever I give her or find something else. Grace also continually wakes up with varying degrees of allergy-like symptoms, including a bloody nose (that scares her to the point of tears), severe stuffiness, and sneezing. These are but two examples where a DAN doctor might be able to greatly assist.

Appropriately coinciding with the addition of new elements to the Grace mix, I discovered a new puzzle type yesterday in a book store with even more operands: KenKen

Speaks for itself